Awake: A Memoir
Read by the author with appearances from family and friends.The program also features bonus commentary and clips from her wildly popular podcast, For The Love.
NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY THE NEW YORK TIMES, OPRAH DAILY, GOODREADS, KIRKUS REVIEWS, AND MORE
A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“I can’t imagine any woman reading this without feeling seen, inspired, and totally empowered.” —Mel Robbins, #1 New York Times bestselling author
“A MASTERPIECE, you guys. This memoir by the great Jen Hatmaker *cannot* be missed. I was riveted as if to a thriller and touched/moved/inspired in ways I can’t quite articulate yet. Just please read. You’ll thank me.” —Elin Hilderbrand
From Jen Hatmaker—beloved New York Times bestselling author and host of the For the Love podcast—a brutally honest, funny, and revealing memoir about the traumatic end of her twenty-six-year-long marriage, and the beginning of a different kind of love story.
At 2:30 a.m. on July 11, 2020, Jen Hatmaker woke up to her husband of twenty-six years whispering into his phone to another woman from their bed. It was the end of life as she knew it. In the months that followed, she went from being a shiny, funny, popular leader to a divorced wreck on antidepressants and antianxiety meds, parenting five kids alone with no clue about the functioning of her own bank accounts. Having led millions of women for over a decade—urging them to embrace authenticity, find radical agency, and create healthy relationship—she felt like a catastrophic failure.
In Awake, Jen shares for the first time what happened when she found herself completely lost at sea—and how she made it to shore. In candid, surprisingly funny vignettes spanning forty years of girlhood, marriage, and parenting, Jen lays bare the disorienting upheaval of midlife—the implosion of a marriage, the unraveling of religious and cultural systems, and the grief that accompanies change you didn’t ask for. And, drawing on all resources—from without and within—Jen dares to question the systems beneath the whole house of cards, and to reckon with the myths, half-truths, and lies that brought her to this point.
More than one woman’s story, Awake is a critical analysis of the story given to all of us: the story of gender limitations, religious subservience, body shame, self-erasure. With refreshing candor, Jen explores a midlife renaissance—grieving what’s lost, cherishing possibility, and entering the second half of life wide awake.
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Read by the author with appearances from family and friends.The program also features bonus commentary and clips from her wildly popular podcast, For The Love.
NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY THE NEW YORK TIMES, OPRAH DAILY, GOODREADS, KIRKUS REVIEWS, AND MORE
A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“I can’t imagine any woman reading this without feeling seen, inspired, and totally empowered.” —Mel Robbins, #1 New York Times bestselling author
“A MASTERPIECE, you guys. This memoir by the great Jen Hatmaker *cannot* be missed. I was riveted as if to a thriller and touched/moved/inspired in ways I can’t quite articulate yet. Just please read. You’ll thank me.” —Elin Hilderbrand
From Jen Hatmaker—beloved New York Times bestselling author and host of the For the Love podcast—a brutally honest, funny, and revealing memoir about the traumatic end of her twenty-six-year-long marriage, and the beginning of a different kind of love story.
At 2:30 a.m. on July 11, 2020, Jen Hatmaker woke up to her husband of twenty-six years whispering into his phone to another woman from their bed. It was the end of life as she knew it. In the months that followed, she went from being a shiny, funny, popular leader to a divorced wreck on antidepressants and antianxiety meds, parenting five kids alone with no clue about the functioning of her own bank accounts. Having led millions of women for over a decade—urging them to embrace authenticity, find radical agency, and create healthy relationship—she felt like a catastrophic failure.
In Awake, Jen shares for the first time what happened when she found herself completely lost at sea—and how she made it to shore. In candid, surprisingly funny vignettes spanning forty years of girlhood, marriage, and parenting, Jen lays bare the disorienting upheaval of midlife—the implosion of a marriage, the unraveling of religious and cultural systems, and the grief that accompanies change you didn’t ask for. And, drawing on all resources—from without and within—Jen dares to question the systems beneath the whole house of cards, and to reckon with the myths, half-truths, and lies that brought her to this point.
More than one woman’s story, Awake is a critical analysis of the story given to all of us: the story of gender limitations, religious subservience, body shame, self-erasure. With refreshing candor, Jen explores a midlife renaissance—grieving what’s lost, cherishing possibility, and entering the second half of life wide awake.
Susan Moellering –
Real, vulnerable, inspiring, a masterpiece for healing!
Jen Hatmaker has done it again. She has exceeded her own high bar for authenticity, vulnerability, truth and inspiration. I was lucky enough to receive an ARC from the publisher and got an early look at this beautiful story. This book is relatable in so many powerful ways, for church women, for non-church women, for younger women trying to anticipate what’s ahead, for “middle-age” women trying to navigate all the ways that life changes and we are expected to change with it. Jen pulls back the veil on her divorce without making it about divorce, but about change and healing. She opens the door to her own pain as a way to let others know that there is light on the other side of catastrophe or disappointment. Yet, there is no sense of “silver-lining” toxic positivity or other typical platitudes that land flat. She also makes a beautiful case for the ways that we are all connected and can show up for one another in our relationships in a way that is truly meaningful and life-giving. I have never read a Jen Hatmaker book and not been changed, but I will need to re-read and sit with the lessons in Awake for a long time before I fully understand the gift that Jen has given us. If you have experienced heartache or disappointment (who hasn’t), if you have a complicated relationship with faith or the church (who doesn’t, if they are really honest), if you have ever been taught to distrust your own instincts in favor of protecting or supporting a system, this book will challenge you and maybe even bring up old hurts. Don’t be frightened away though, it will also guide you and give you a lit pathway to being your own best friend as you grow and learn and heal. I’ve been a reader and fan for a long time, this book only solidifies for me that Jen is a trusted voice in her space and that as I age and encounter new challenges, she is a safe and wise person to continue to listen to and learn from. I highly recommend this book to those that are on a journey towards honoring, knowing and trusting themselves and to those that value good writing, humor in the face of grief or pain and beautiful, raw storytelling.
Melissa N. Wilson –
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Raw, Honest, and Unforgettable
Jen Hatmaker’s AWAKE is stunning. This book is raw, vulnerable, and full of grace. She writes with unfiltered honesty about her divorce, sharing not only her own heartbreak but how her kids walked through it too. Those moments are tender and deeply human, showing her strength as both a mother and a woman learning to heal.What I loved most was her forgiveness; the way she speaks of her ex-husband with compassion, acknowledging his failures but also her own. It’s mature, redemptive, and refreshingly free of bitterness. Her realization that “it wasn’t all his fault” shows such growth and humility.And through it all, her wit sparkles. Even in the hardest moments, she finds humor and light. AWAKE isn’t just a memoir; it’s a reminder that awakening often comes after devastation. Beautifully written, brutally honest, and full of hope — this book will stay with me for a long time.
TNScones –
AWAKE: Jen’s Myth-Busting Mea Culpa
Spoiler Alert: AWAKE is the in-depth, personal, extravagant literary expression of marital and ministry loss along with details of its aftermath as experienced by a courageous pioneer named Jen Hatmaker.Think ahead. It may be best not to read AWAKE if you’re easily triggered or tempted to judge Jen based on her personal history, ethnicity, sexuality, political preferences, indigenous practices, LGBTQA+ gender affirmations, lack of church attendance, profanity and alcohol use, etc. Still, given this book is hers, not yours, and since she isn’t you, doesn’t know you, and wrote this for herself (not you), perhaps you’ll choose to read it instead with love for the author along with whatever boundaries you need to set for yourself.Much of what Jen shares in these virtually tear-soaked pages is an utterly raw, self-inscribed depiction of her life and losses IRL. She excavates and delves into her deep trauma as she pours her words onto the page. Jen says she wrote and checked everything with the approval of her team of friends and editors alongside her, asking them if it was “too much” before submitting the final draft of AWAKE. I believe her and can picture others urging her on (especially the publisher). As a writer, I feel tender toward this gutsy author and appreciate her counting the cost, then deeming the risk worth her creative endeavor.Jen says: “I decided not to prescribe, I look forward to finding out what readers take away. I didn’t hand over any instruction or even conclusions. My guess is that each reader will pull something wildly unique to them.” Taking her disclaimer at face value is essential when reading a book this big, this honest, this brutal, this hopeful. It’s a lot to take in and synthesize, though not shocking for those of us living our life with eyes wide open in 2025. It isn’t an instruction guide, it’s her one-of-a-kind experience. It doesn’t point the way ahead for you or for me or for anyone except Jen, it does offer hard-earned insight that can ease the sense that we are the only ones who have endured devastating heartache. It’s not a permission-granting tome or example-setting lifestyle manual, it is a story that encourages others to explore the upside of forgiveness and recovery, to repair what’s been broken and find our safe places. Clearly, this is her intention: For each of us to know how fathomless and immutable True Love really is—right here, right now.If you wrote your memoir today, fully willing to see and not hide from God’s inexorable truth, surrendering every idol, embracing Jesus’s relaxed permanent love for you, I bet you, like Jen, would be amazed at where your writing journey takes you. May her unflinching self-portrait—the story of one woman’s agonizing emergence from a delusional codependent mindset into the forward momentum of compassionate life-giving discernment—refresh for all who read it the hope we hold as an anchor for our souls as we cry: “Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—then guide me on the road to eternal life” (Psalm 139:23-24, The Message).
Meg Delagrange –
This book nourished my soul
This is the book where you find yourself texting a friend at midnight just to say, “You HAVE to read this.” Growing up conservative with so many limiting beliefs, this book was liberating and affirming in the best ways. Refreshingly honest and real. I laughed out loud, got emotional, stayed up until 1 and 2 am because I couldn’t put it down. When I finished, I felt that deep satisfaction you get after your favorite meal. Just completely nourished. Yes this book nourished me deeply!
Pam Henderson –
What a beautiful story of heartbreak and recovery. Laughed, cried & generally rooted for Jen the whole way through.
Rachel Jobes –
Stunning read – I shed tears, had laughs and took deep breaths.I have an entirely different story to Jen although we are a similar age and I had similar religious upbringing. I identify in so so much that is written, I realise so much about myself and in such a safe none threatening way. Some beautiful observations and I’ve added a couple more books to my tbr list.Read it in the space of a few days.Closing it feeling reassured, invigorated to do more work and possibly even a little hopeful at what life the new version of me will get to live.
Natalie –
Very honest and reflective. Great to listen on audiobook!
Faith Newton –
The short chapters and storytelling style made this easy to read. There were times of real insight around the parts that the church, prescriptive gender roles and her own unhealthy patterns had contributed to the end of her marriage. Jen showed a lack of awareness around her financial and relational privilege – encouraging readers to change their lives for a better one and giving us examples of her buying a new car she wanted, going away for a month and commissioning bespoke furniture as all part of her recovery. For those without such resources these encouragements will ring hollow. Her reflections on codependency were interesting.
Kristy –
I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that made me feel more seen and understood. Absolutely love Jen Hatmaker’s vulnerability and sense of humor.